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Working While Caring for Someone You Love: The Invisible Load Every Carer Carries

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You Are Not Alone


Hello and welcome to this week's WOOT blog. This one is for every woman who starts her working day after a night of broken sleep – not because of a baby this time, but because she was up checking on her mother, or managing a crisis with her partner, or running through a mental checklist of medications and appointments and care arrangements that nobody else is tracking.


It is for the woman who has never described herself as a carer because the word does not feel like it fits. Who is just getting on with it, as women so often do, without naming what it is costing her or asking for what she needs.


It is for the sandwich generation: managing children, a career and an ageing or unwell family member, often simultaneously, often invisibly, often without adequate support from any direction.


If any of that is you, this blog is written for you.


The Scale of What Women Working While Caring Are Carrying


  • There are 5.8 million unpaid carers in the UK. 59% of them are women.

  • Women are 29% more likely than men to be unpaid carers.

  • 73% of carers in employment say they find it stressful to juggle work and caring responsibilities.

  • 44% have reduced their working hours. 25% have taken on a lower-paid or more junior role to make the caring work.

  • 69% of carers in employment say they have not focused on their career as much as they would like.

  • The economic value of unpaid care in the UK is estimated at £184 billion a year. The majority of that is provided by women, largely unrecognised and unrewarded.


Why So Many Women Do Not Identify as Carers


The word 'carer' conjures a specific image for many people: someone in a professional care role, or someone whose entire life has been given over to supporting another person. It does not feel like the right word for the woman who drives her father to hospital appointments every other week. Or who manages her sister's mental health crisis from a distance. Or who does the night shift for a child with complex needs before coming into a full day of work.


But all of those women are carers. And the reason the label matters is not about identity for its own sake. It is about knowing what support and rights are available, and feeling entitled to access them.


The Specific Weight of Women in the Sandwich Generation


There are 1.25 million sandwich carers in the UK, people caring for an older relative whilst also raising children. 68% of them are women, and the most intensive caring tends to fall on those in their 35 to 44 age bracket, which is also typically the period of peak career development.


The collision of those two things – the years when career momentum is most buildable and the years when caring demands are often greatest – is not a coincidence. It is a structural feature of how care and work are currently organised in this country. The cost falls disproportionately on women, and it falls most heavily during the window when it does the most long-term damage to their earnings, their pensions and their professional progression.



Explore More with Women of Our Time


What the Law Now Says for Working Carers


The Employment Rights Act 2025 introduced several measures that are directly relevant to working while caring for someone, some of which came into force in April 2026:


  • Unpaid parental leave is now available from day one of employment, removing the previous one-year service requirement.

  • Flexible working rights have been strengthened. Employers must now give specific written reasons for any refusal and those reasons must be genuinely reasonable.

  • Statutory sick pay now applies from the first day of illness, which helps carers who may need to take short-notice time off to manage a care crisis.


Paid carer's leave is not yet statutory in the UK, though it remains under active discussion. Many employers do offer it as a discretionary benefit. It is worth checking your employer's policy specifically.


What Actually Helps: Practical Considerations for Working Carers


Know what you are entitled to ask for

Flexible working, adjusted hours, the ability to work from home on certain days, compressed hours, temporary changes to your role during an acute caring period: all of these are things you can formally request. You do not need to apologise for asking.


Consider whether to disclose and how much to share

There is no legal obligation to tell your employer about your caring responsibilities. Whether to do so depends on your relationship with your manager, the culture of your workplace and what you need from the conversation. Think about what outcome you are looking for before deciding what to share and with whom.


Find out if your employer has a carers policy

Many organisations now have specific policies for employees with caring responsibilities, including access to additional leave, an employee assistance programme or a carers' network. These are often underused simply because people do not know they exist. Check your employee handbook or speak to HR directly.


Look after your own health with the same seriousness you give to others

This is the one carers consistently report failing to do. The GP Patient Survey 2025 found that 72% of carers have a physical or mental health condition lasting 12 months or more. Your health is not a luxury. It is what makes everything else possible.


A Word About Guilt


Almost every woman who is both working and caring describes guilt as a constant companion. Guilt at work for not being fully present. Guilt at home for not doing enough. Guilt for wanting something for herself.


That guilt is understandable. It is also largely a product of a system that asks women to carry an unfair share of care without adequate support, and then expects them to do it without complaint. The guilt is not evidence that you are failing. It is evidence that you are doing too much with too little.


You are allowed to need support. You are allowed to ask for it.


A Final Word


The invisible load is invisible partly because the women carrying it are so good at carrying it that nobody realises how much there is. That competence is remarkable. It should not be mistaken for an absence of need.



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Working While Caring for Someone You Love: FAQs


Q. Am I legally a carer if I provide support to a family member alongside my job?

A. If you are providing regular unpaid support to a family member or friend because of illness, disability, a mental health condition, age or addiction, you are a carer in the legal sense. Even a few hours a week of practical or emotional support counts. The label matters because it unlocks specific rights and support.

Q. What flexible working rights do unpaid carers have in the UK?

A. Under the Employment Rights Act 2025, all employees can request flexible working from day one of employment. Your employer must provide specific written reasons for any refusal, and those reasons must be genuinely reasonable. You can request adjusted hours, compressed weeks, remote working or other arrangements.

Q. Will telling my employer I am a carer affect how they see me professionally?

A. That concern is valid and widely reported. Before disclosing, consider what specifically you need from the conversation. If it is flexibility, you can request flexible working without explaining the full context. Share what is necessary to get what you need, and nothing more.

Q. I am exhausted and cannot keep going at this pace. What are my options?

A. Speak to your GP, who can assess your health and refer you to relevant support. Your employer's employee assistance programme, if one exists, can provide confidential counselling and practical guidance. Carers UK has a free helpline at 0808 808 7777. A formal flexible working request may also help reduce the immediate pressure.

Q. Where can women who are working while caring find support?

A. Carers UK (carersuk.org) has a helpline and substantial online resources. Rethink Mental Illness and Mind have specific resources for carers of people with mental health conditions. And the Womeniverse™ is a community where this kind of conversation can happen honestly, without judgment and without having to explain yourself from scratch every time.


 
 
 

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