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How to Find Your Passion: Why You Should Develop It Instead

Writer: Women of our Time
Women of our Time
10 minutes ago
8 min read
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Stanford researchers found that people who believe passions are simply "found" are more likely to give up on a new interest when it becomes genuinely difficult.

Hello and welcome to this week's WOOT blog. This one is for every woman who has sat waiting for a bolt of certainty about what she's "meant to do," while life quietly carries on without it arriving. Who has started something new, hit the first real challenge, and quietly concluded that it must not be her passion after all. Who has been given the advice to "find her passion" so many times that she has started to wonder if something is wrong with her for not having found it yet.


The Reality of the "Find Your Passion" Myth

In a series of five studies involving 470 participants, researchers Paul O'Keefe, Carol Dweck and Gregory Walton examined what happens when people believe interests are either fixed and waiting to be discovered, or capable of developing over time. They found that people with a fixed view of interests were less open to unfamiliar subjects and more likely to lose interest when something they had initially enjoyed became difficult. Sage Journals


The same research found that people who held more of a growth mindset about their interests were better prepared for the reality that developing an interest can involve difficulty, complexity and effort. When participants encountered challenging material, their interest dropped more sharply when they had been encouraged to think of interests as fixed rather than something that could grow. Sage Journals


That matters because the advice to find your passion carries a hidden implication. Once you discover the right thing, surely it should feel natural. Motivation should come easily. You should want to keep doing it without needing to drag yourself through the difficult bits.

The research suggests otherwise.


Passion is real, and some interests genuinely do feel more natural than others from the start. The problem sits somewhere else entirely. The popular advice about how to find it may quietly encourage people to give up far too early.


What's Actually Going On Here?

"Find your passion" implies that a single, dormant interest exists somewhere inside you, fully formed, waiting to be uncovered like a hidden object. Once found, the theory goes, motivation follows automatically and effort becomes easier.


In practice, interests can develop through time, investment, curiosity, repetition and getting through the parts that are genuinely difficult. Stanford's researchers suggested a different approach: rather than focusing on finding a passion, think about developing one. Stanford News


One of the experiments makes the point particularly well. Students watched an engaging video about black holes and the origins of the universe and initially found it fascinating. They were then given a much more difficult scientific article about the same subject. Interest fell, but the drop was greatest among students who held a fixed view of interests. Difficulty appeared to become evidence that perhaps this was not really their interest after all. Stanford News


That is a very different way of interpreting the moment something stops being easy.


Why This Distinction Actually Matters

Believing the "find it" myth can have a real cost. It shows up as women trying something new, a course, a business idea, a creative project, a career change, hitting the inevitable difficult stretch and reading that difficulty as proof they picked the wrong thing entirely.


It can also narrow what we are willing to explore. The Stanford research found that people with a fixed view of interests were less interested in material outside the areas they already identified with. If you believe your passions are already sitting somewhere inside you waiting to be discovered, there is less reason to explore something unfamiliar long enough for an interest to develop. Sage Journals


Over time, that can become a strange cycle. Start something. Enjoy the exciting beginning. Reach the part where you are no longer naturally good at it. Decide it must not be "the thing". Start looking again.


The advice, however well meant, can end up working directly against the outcome it promises.



Explore More with Women of Our Time



How to Find Your Passion by Developing It

Abandoning the idea of passion altogether isn't the answer here. A more accurate, more useful approach is to stop expecting it to arrive fully formed and start giving genuine interests enough time to become something deeper.


1. The Difficulty Reframe

Instead of: reading difficulty as a sign.


Try: treating it as part of the process.


A new pursuit stops feeling easy and starts feeling genuinely hard. This is often the exact point where the "wrong passion" story starts.


Try not to make the decision immediately.


Difficulty does not automatically mean you have picked the wrong thing. Sometimes it simply means you have moved beyond the enjoyable beginner stage and reached the point where actual skill needs to be built.


The Stanford research supports exactly this distinction. People who expected interests to remain naturally motivating were more likely to disengage when difficulty arrived. Sage Journals


2. The Investment Before Interest

Instead of: waiting to feel completely ready.


Try: giving curiosity something to work with.


If something seems interesting, commit a small, defined amount of time to actually exploring it before deciding how strongly you feel about it.


Take the introductory course. Attend the event. Try the class. Spend an hour working on the idea. Speak to somebody already doing it.


You do not need to announce that you have found your life's calling.


You are gathering evidence.


As Stanford researcher Gregory Walton put it, interest can begin with thinking something looks worth exploring, investing yourself in it, encountering challenges and gradually building commitment. Stanford News


Sometimes interest follows investment rather than appearing before it.


3. The Multiple Interests Permission

Instead of: searching for the single "right" passion.


Try: allowing more than one thing to matter.


There is no rule saying you have exactly one passion.


You might be interested in psychology and gardening. Leadership and pottery. Running and writing. Technology and history.


They do not need to compete for the title of "the thing I was put on Earth to do."


In fact, Stanford's researchers warned that a fixed view of interests can encourage people to narrow their focus too much, potentially missing the value of developing knowledge across different fields. Stanford News


Give yourself permission to be interested in several things.


You can decide later which ones deserve more of your time.


4. The Six-Week Test

Instead of: abandoning something at the first wall.


Try: giving yourself enough evidence to make a decision.


Before deciding a new pursuit isn't for you, choose a reasonable period in which you will continue exploring it.


Six weeks can be a useful practical benchmark. It is not a magic number and it is not a finding from the Stanford research. It is simply long enough to give yourself more evidence than one difficult afternoon.


At the end, ask yourself what has changed.


Am I more curious than I was?


Do I enjoy learning about this, even when I find it difficult?


Is there something here I want to become better at?


Am I interested in the outcome but miserable during every part of the process?


You are allowed to stop.


The point is to make that decision using evidence, rather than treating the first challenge as proof you chose incorrectly.


5. The "What Could I Contribute Here?" Question

Instead of: asking "what am I meant to do?"


Try: asking a smaller question.


What genuinely interests you enough that you could imagine learning more about it and perhaps contributing something to it over time?


That is much easier to answer than: "What is my one true passion?"


It also takes some of the pressure off.


You do not need to know where something will lead before beginning.


Sometimes the next useful step is simply: "That seems interesting. I wonder what would happen if I explored it properly."


And then you start.


You Are Allowed to Become Interested

Maybe that is the bit we have been missing.


We talk about passion as though it should arrive before the work.


First you discover the passion. Then you become motivated. Then you put in the effort. Then you get good at it.


Real life is often considerably messier.


You might start because you're curious.


Then discover you're terrible at it.


Then get slightly better.


Then become frustrated.


Then learn something that makes it more interesting.


Then meet somebody who opens another door.


Then realise, two years later, that this thing you weren't even sure about at the beginning has become an important part of your life.


That doesn't make the passion less genuine.


It means you built it.


You don't have to sit still waiting to discover what you were always meant to do.

You are allowed to develop into the person who wants to do it.


You Don't Have to Navigate This Alone

If this post has you rethinking the course, project or idea you shelved the moment it got difficult, you are exactly who Womeniverse™ is for.


Womeniverse™ is the Women of Our Time community where women support women at work and in life, including the "I've always wanted to" things that keep getting postponed.


Inside you will find:

  • peer support from women developing creative projects, courses and interests at every stage

  • guidance grounded in practical tools and psychological research, rather than vague inspiration

  • a space to keep going through the difficult, unglamorous middle of something new

  • support when you are exploring a career change or a completely new direction

  • conversations that treat "I've always wanted to try this" as reason enough to start



Here’s how you can take the first step: 


Join the Womeniverse for £30/year (currently FREE) → https://www.womenofourtime.uk/women-of-our-time-community

 

 

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Your Only Agenda is You.


With support, The Women of Our Time Team


P.S. If you know a woman who gave up on something the moment it got hard, send her this. It might not be the wrong thing after all.



Click or Scan the QR Code Below to join the Womeniverse™

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Find Your Passion: Frequently Asked Questions


Q. Is "find your passion" actually bad advice?

A. Not necessarily, but Stanford researchers found that the phrase can create an unhelpful expectation that passions already exist fully formed and simply need to be discovered. People who held this fixed view of interests were more likely to disengage when something became difficult. Thinking about developing interests over time may create more realistic expectations.

A. One difficult experience rarely gives you enough information to know. Give the interest some time, notice whether your curiosity returns and ask whether you still want to understand or improve at it despite the difficulty. Persistent disengagement after genuine exploration tells you considerably more than one frustrating afternoon.

A. Then you have learned something useful. Developing your passions does not mean forcing yourself to continue everything indefinitely. The aim is to give an interest enough time to distinguish normal early difficulty from genuine lack of interest, and then make a considered decision about whether you want to continue.

A. Yes. There is no evidence that people need to identify one single lifelong passion. The Stanford research actually suggests that believing interests are fixed can make people less open to exploring subjects outside the areas they already identify with. Developing several interests can expose you to connections and opportunities you might otherwise miss.

A. Yes. Womeniverse™ gives women a community in which to explore new interests, courses, projects and career directions alongside other women doing the same. It can provide structure, encouragement and somewhere to talk through the difficult middle rather than abandoning an idea simply because the initial excitement has worn



 
 
 

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